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ASOIAF Christmas Filks... would you be down? 
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Ashley wrote:
i'm having a crap time coming of with Favourite Things from Cercei. I really wanna do that because I'm good at that song, it's only three verses so if anyone has suggestions I'd appreciate it.

Men in white cloaks with questionable morals,

Power to rule, without outdoor plumbing,

All of Westeros under my thumb,

These are a few of...

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 3:21 am
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Ashley wrote:
i'm having a crap time coming of with Favourite Things from Cercei. I really wanna do that because I'm good at that song, it's only three verses so if anyone has suggestions I'd appreciate it.

I'll mull it over while i'm at work, see what I can come up with , I've already written a version for a show we did at a club we used to run, sang by the wicked witch of the west(my sister)

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 4:07 am
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Ashley wrote:
i'm having a crap time coming of with Favourite Things from Cercei. I really wanna do that because I'm good at that song, it's only three verses so if anyone has suggestions I'd appreciate it.


Oh Yes, That is too fun!
This is what I have so far...

Grooming my kids to be arrogant bullies
Crushing the Tyrells, the Starks, and the Tullys
Using my Tits and my Ass to pull Strings
These are a few of my favourite things.


Sat Dec 15, 2012 10:09 am
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a few of my favourite things
Spoiler: show
kissing and sucking and fucking one brother
whipping the flesh off the whore of another ,
plotting with lancel and killing the king,
these are a few of my favourite things,

screwing my cousin and a couple of kettle's
hating the tyrells, all roses and petals,
pretending to septas I repent my sins ,
these are a few of my favourite things

I've no pe-nis, so my birth-right
is denied by dad,
so I simply remember my favourite things ,
and then I don't feel , so bad

seducing young knights with my pretty green eyes,
playing a game where you win or you die
praying in a sept and then fucking my twin,
these are a few of my favourite things,

being a lion and paying my debts up,
letting my son cut his cute little pets up,
laying with taena who sure likes to swing,
these are a few of my favorite things,

when my son chokes , and the small folks,
start to call me mad ,
I simply remember my favourite things
and then I don't feel, so bad

stroking a lion on casterly rock,
dwarf baby tyrion and twisting his cock,
fine dornish red that I drink by the skin,
these are a few of my favourite things

scheming with qyburn so ser gregor lingers,
eating king's babies by licking my fingers,
beguiling young sansa , the little bird sings ,
these are a few of my favourite things,

tho' they killed Joff , cut my hair off ,
made me walk un -clad,
I simply remember my favourite things ,
and then I don't feel , so bad

there you are ashley , have a go at that :D

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 12:51 pm
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Ashley wrote:
i'm having a crap time coming of with Favourite Things from Cercei. I really wanna do that because I'm good at that song, it's only three verses so if anyone has suggestions I'd appreciate it.


Okay I think Jed Nailed it Too Funny. But just for fun here are some other verses...

Grooming my kids to be arrogant bullies
Crushing the Tyrells, the Starks, and the Tullys
Using my tits and my ass to pull strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Dining on King Roberts muderous boar
Whipping my dwarf brother's favorite whore
Incestuous, sleazy, bicurious flings
These are a few of my favorite things.

Each day growing more paranoid and bitter
Tyrion's bronzed head resting in my shitter
The tower of the hand in a blaze of bright green
These are a few of my favorite things.


Sat Dec 15, 2012 1:11 pm
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Lady_Grey wrote:
Ashley wrote:
i'm having a crap time coming of with Favourite Things from Cercei. I really wanna do that because I'm good at that song, it's only three verses so if anyone has suggestions I'd appreciate it.


Okay I think Jed Nailed it Too Funny. But just for fun here are some other verses...

Grooming my kids to be arrogant bullies
Crushing the Tyrells, the Starks, and the Tullys
Using my tits and my ass to pull strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Dining on King Roberts muderous boar
Whipping my dwarf brother's favorite whore
Incestuous, sleazy, bicurious flings
These are a few of my favorite things.

Each day growing more paranoid and bitter
Tyrion's bronzed head resting in my shitter
The tower of the hand in a blaze of bright green
These are a few of my favorite things.


:D great stuff mi'lady , love it . made me actually LOL :D plenty there for ashley to work with I reckon, a mega mix maybe ?

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 2:47 pm
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oh sweet moses!

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 3:08 pm
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I'm working on one but I need two knights whose names rhyme. It shouldn't be their full name. Just the first name or last name rhyming with another's first name or last name.

Can anybody help me with that?

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 3:30 pm
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jed o'white hart wrote:
a few of my favourite things
Spoiler: show
kissing and sucking and fucking one brother
whipping the flesh off the whore of another ,
plotting with lancel and killing the king,
these are a few of my favourite things,

screwing my cousin and a couple of kettle's
hating the tyrells, all roses and petals,
pretending to septas I repent my sins ,
these are a few of my favourite things

I've no pe-nis, so my birth-right
is denied by dad,
so I simply remember my favourite things ,
and then I don't feel , so bad

seducing young knights with my pretty green eyes,
playing a game where you win or you die
praying in a sept and then fucking my twin,
these are a few of my favourite things,

being a lion and paying my debts up,
letting my son cut his cute little pets up,
laying with taena who sure likes to swing,
these are a few of my favorite things,

when my son chokes , and the small folks,
start to call me mad ,
I simply remember my favourite things
and then I don't feel, so bad

stroking a lion on casterly rock,
dwarf baby tyrion and twisting his cock,
fine dornish red that I drink by the skin,
these are a few of my favourite things

scheming with qyburn so ser gregor lingers,
eating king's babies by licking my fingers,
beguiling young sansa , the little bird sings ,
these are a few of my favourite things,

tho' they killed Joff , cut my hair off ,
made me walk un -clad,
I simply remember my favourite things ,
and then I don't feel , so bad

there you are ashley , have a go at that :D



My jaw is on the floor. This is AMAZING! Please someone record this. Sweet Moses

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 3:57 pm
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Lady_Grey wrote:
We Wish You a Merry Christmas

This one is for all the long-time fans. I feel for you guys...

We wish George would finish writing
Our passions he's been igniting
The fans can be a little frightning
We just love it so much.

Did Ramsay get his yet,
Will Jon Snow pull through?
I hope Dany and Drogon
Burn Victarion's Crew

We wish George would finish writing
Dragons ended before the fighting
Spoiler chapters are so delighting
Cuz these cliffhangers Suck

For now there's group re-reads
And Amin's crazy theories
But We'll die if you're out-paced
By the HBO series.

WE WISH GEORGE WOULD FINISH WRITING
Fingernails we have been biting
A release Date would be exciting
I Guess you just can't rush art.


Please tell me you're planning on recording this.

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 4:00 pm
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Kyle wrote:
I'm working on one but I need two knights whose names rhyme. It shouldn't be their full name. Just the first name or last name rhyming with another's first name or last name.

Can anybody help me with that?


How about Clegane and Dayne? Can't get much more different then the Mountain and the Sword of the Morning, but they're both knights.


Sat Dec 15, 2012 4:04 pm
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Does anyone know enough of the dothraki language to do a Westeros/Dothraki Feliz Navidad?

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 4:05 pm
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Pod's Plight wrote:
Kyle wrote:
I'm working on one but I need two knights whose names rhyme. It shouldn't be their full name. Just the first name or last name rhyming with another's first name or last name.

Can anybody help me with that?


How about Clegane and Dayne? Can't get much more different then the Mountain and the Sword of the Morning, but they're both knights.


Thanks!

Loras and Boros, Gregor and Darkstar (with a little singing pronunciation).

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 4:11 pm
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Kyle wrote:
I'm working on one but I need two knights whose names rhyme. It shouldn't be their full name. Just the first name or last name rhyming with another's first name or last name.

Can anybody help me with that?

sorry , I don't work knights :D

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 4:34 pm
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Ashley wrote:
i'm having a crap .

sorry , couldn't resist it :D

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 4:36 pm
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Kyle wrote:
Does anyone know enough of the dothraki language to do a Westeros/Dothraki Feliz Navidad?


There is no word for "merry" in Dothraki...

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 5:09 pm
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jed o'white hart wrote:
a few of my favourite things
Spoiler: show
kissing and sucking and fucking one brother
whipping the flesh off the whore of another ,
plotting with lancel and killing the king,
these are a few of my favourite things,

screwing my cousin and a couple of kettle's
hating the tyrells, all roses and petals,
pretending to septas I repent my sins ,
these are a few of my favourite things

I've no pe-nis, so my birth-right
is denied by dad,
so I simply remember my favourite things ,
and then I don't feel , so bad

seducing young knights with my pretty green eyes,
playing a game where you win or you die
praying in a sept and then fucking my twin,
these are a few of my favourite things,

being a lion and paying my debts up,
letting my son cut his cute little pets up,
laying with taena who sure likes to swing,
these are a few of my favorite things,

when my son chokes , and the small folks,
start to call me mad ,
I simply remember my favourite things
and then I don't feel, so bad

stroking a lion on casterly rock,
dwarf baby tyrion and twisting his cock,
fine dornish red that I drink by the skin,
these are a few of my favourite things

scheming with qyburn so ser gregor lingers,
eating king's babies by licking my fingers,
beguiling young sansa , the little bird sings ,
these are a few of my favourite things,

tho' they killed Joff , cut my hair off ,
made me walk un -clad,
I simply remember my favourite things ,
and then I don't feel , so bad

there you are ashley , have a go at that :D


Lady_Grey wrote:
Okay I think Jed Nailed it Too Funny. But just for fun here are some other verses...

Grooming my kids to be arrogant bullies
Crushing the Tyrells, the Starks, and the Tullys
Using my tits and my ass to pull strings,
These are a few of my favorite things.

Dining on King Roberts muderous boar
Whipping my dwarf brother's favorite whore
Incestuous, sleazy, bicurious flings
These are a few of my favorite things.

Each day growing more paranoid and bitter
Tyrion's bronzed head resting in my shitter
The tower of the hand in a blaze of bright green
These are a few of my favorite things.


Unbefrikkenleivable :lol: :lol: :lol:

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 5:22 pm
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Still no progress on the ones I suggested :|

Santa Claus is Coming to Town, but with Bloodraven subbed in with his 1001 (bedroom) eyes seeing you (OR, Varys the Spider)

Original lyrics:

Spoiler: show
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town

He's making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town


I think that Bloodraven (in particular Bloodraven when he still wielded political power) or Varys can fit this.

Some possible lines for it:
He knows if you've been treasonous or loyal
So be good for your family's sake!

You better watch out
You better not try
Better not plot
I'm telling you why
Bloodraven's got 1001 eyes // or // Varys' little birds are in town

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 5:42 pm
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FTWard wrote:
Kyle wrote:
Does anyone know enough of the dothraki language to do a Westeros/Dothraki Feliz Navidad?


There is no word for "merry" in Dothraki...


Indeed. Dothraki songs tend to have a bit more rape and violence, and not so much joy and cheer.


Sat Dec 15, 2012 5:53 pm
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Amin wrote:
Still no progress on the ones I suggested :|

Santa Claus is Coming to Town, but with Bloodraven subbed in with his 1001 (bedroom) eyes seeing you (OR, Varys the Spider)

Original lyrics:

Spoiler: show
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town

He's making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town


I think that Bloodraven (in particular Bloodraven when he still wielded political power) or Varys can fit this.

Some possible lines for it:
He knows if you've been treasonous or loyal
So be good for your family's sake!

You better watch out
You better not try
Better not plot
I'm telling you why
Bloodraven's got 1001 eyes // or // Varys' little birds are in town


He sees you when you're creeping
He knows just what you've done
"How many eyes does Rivers have?"
"A thousand eyes and one!"

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Sat Dec 15, 2012 5:55 pm
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inkasrain wrote:
Amin wrote:
Still no progress on the ones I suggested :|

Santa Claus is Coming to Town, but with Bloodraven subbed in with his 1001 (bedroom) eyes seeing you (OR, Varys the Spider)

Original lyrics:

Spoiler: show
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town

He's making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town


I think that Bloodraven (in particular Bloodraven when he still wielded political power) or Varys can fit this.

Some possible lines for it:
He knows if you've been treasonous or loyal
So be good for your family's sake!

You better watch out
You better not try
Better not plot
I'm telling you why
Bloodraven's got 1001 eyes // or // Varys' little birds are in town


He sees you when you're creeping
He knows just what you've done
"How many eyes does Rivers have?"
"A thousand eyes and one!"


you better chill out
you better not lie
you might get a clout
I'm telling you why
Bloodraven is becoming a tree.

He's looking like Plumm
and leading his Teeth
gonna fuck Seastar from behind and beneath
Bloodraven is becoming a tree!

He sees when you are peeing
he knows when you are fake
he knows if you're for Black or Red
so shut up for seven hells sake!

O! you better chill out
you better not lie
you might get a clout
I'm telling you why
Bloodraven is becoming a tree.


PS I can't sing for shit, so someone else can record this if they're so inclined


Sat Dec 15, 2012 6:14 pm
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@Kyle:

Payne and Dayne

edit: much too slow.

this episode could make you all (and apoiaf) tremendously famous (at least in the asoiaf-community)

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Sun Dec 16, 2012 4:01 am
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FTWard wrote:
Kyle wrote:
Does anyone know enough of the dothraki language to do a Westeros/Dothraki Feliz Navidad?


There is no word for "merry" in Dothraki...

:D :D :D

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Sun Dec 16, 2012 4:17 am
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Kyle wrote:
I'm working on one but I need two knights whose names rhyme. It shouldn't be their full name. Just the first name or last name rhyming with another's first name or last name.

Can anybody help me with that?


I heard Theon is good with rhymes.....

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Sun Dec 16, 2012 4:37 am
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jesicka309 wrote:
Kyle wrote:
I'm working on one but I need two knights whose names rhyme. It shouldn't be their full name. Just the first name or last name rhyming with another's first name or last name.

Can anybody help me with that?


I heard Theon is good with rhymes.....


nice.


Sun Dec 16, 2012 10:25 am
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Ok Soiled Knight recorded and ready to send....

And for anyone who's interested I've posted it to soundcloud here: https://soundcloud.com/er1nyes/soiled-knight

try to keep laughter to a minimum...

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Sun Dec 16, 2012 12:23 pm
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Erinyes wrote:
Ok Soiled Knight recorded and ready to send....

And for anyone who's interested I've posted it to soundcloud here: https://soundcloud.com/er1nyes/soiled-knight

try to keep laughter to a minimum...

brilliant nadine , great stuff. :D

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Sun Dec 16, 2012 12:42 pm
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Going with the Sound of Music Theme, even if it isn't related to Christmas but the other ideas I had didn't get off the ground.

Ygritte to Jon Snow (Fifteen going on Sixteen)

LYRICS BELOW :D
[Ygritte:]
You wait, little lord, behind a giant wall
For life to end, your honour in doubt
Your life, little lord, is nothing at all
That men will want to write about

[Jon:]
To write about

[Ygritte:]
You are fifteen going on sixteen
Baby, Almost a man grown
I can almost forgive, that without me
that there was nothing you would have known.


You are fifteen going on sixteen
Smallfolk will fall in line
But I know a Place
Where we can go
Baby, we can make the nine.

Totally unprepared are you
To face a world of men
But kill mance rayder
And we'll do you a favour
Baby we will take you in.

You need someone older and wiser
Telling you what to do
I am nineteen going on twenty
I'll take care of you.

[Jon:]
I am fifteen going on sixteen
I know that I'm naive
Roz was so sweet
But I had to retreat
When I saw her between the sheets

I am fifteen going on sixteen
Innocent as a rose
ghouls, shadowcats and others
What do I know of those

Totally unprepared am I
If others show up, i'll know where to hide
Timid and shy and scared am I
With ghost by my side

I need someone older and wiser
Telling me what to do
You are nineteen going on twenty
I'll depend on you


Sun Dec 16, 2012 2:00 pm
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I've finally gotten around to one:
Jon Snow the Bastard Stark Boy (to the tune of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer)

Jon Snow, the bastard Stark boy,
Had a very ghostly pet,
And if you ever saw it,
It's as pale as it could get,

All of the other watchmen,
Used to laugh and call him name (Like Lord Snow!)
They never let poor Jon Snow
Join in any rangers games

Then one icy autumn's eve,
Halfhand came to say (Ho! Ho! Ho!)
"Jon Snow with your wolf so bright,
won't you join my hunt tonight?"

Then all the watchmen loved him,
As they shouted out with glee (Yippee!)
Jon Snow the bastard Stark boy,
you'll go *down* in history!


Obviously I am not going to sing it, but anyone else is welcome to take a crack at it....I didn't have to change too much of the words really, the song already captures how downtrodden and depressed Jon Snow is. :)

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jesicka309 wrote:
Obviously I am not going to sing it, but anyone else is welcome to take a crack at it....I didn't have to change too much of the words really, the song already captures how downtrodden and depressed Jon Snow is. :)


Why obviously not? We need even more accented singing for this episode :)

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Sun Dec 16, 2012 4:33 pm
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