His name is Patchface I know oh I know
Slave from Volantis I know oh I know
Lord Steffon made him free I know oh I know
But he’d soon be under the sea, learning to breathe, tangled in weeds, traded his seed
Lone survivor I know oh I know,
Should’ve let him go


In squares of green and red I know oh I know
Belled antlers on his head I know oh I know
He hops upon his feet I know oh I know
Companion to Shireen he jingles and rings, dances and sings, foretelling things
Does he know the future can it be
Wait and see


Shown in Melisandre’s flames I know oh I know
Dangerous creature she claims I know oh I know
What is his mystery, oh what could it be
Will he change history or make Stannis smile, might take a while, that’s just not his style
He sings under the sea the shadows will dance
And no one wears hats

You know Bina and Vikram and Valkyrist and Alias,
FTWard and Inkasrain and Shellfish and Claudius,
But do you recall,
The most sexist podcast host of all?

Linecom the podcast doctor
Likes to post offensive things,
He doesn't care who's bothered,
Doesn't care who's listening.

All of the other hosts
Sit back and let him do his thang,
We all take our cues from Mimi
She's got no problem with the wang.

Then one forum thread got hot,
It all got quickly out of hand.
People started calling names,
Looking back now it was such a shame.

But Manwoody lives undaunted,
We put it all in the past.
And now we agree on one thing,
It's not linecom's fault he has no class
He can post his pics of tits and ass!

This land is your land, this land is my land
From SLAVER’S BAY, well, to the LYSENI island
From the QOHOR FORESTS, to the GREAT GRASS SEA
I tell ya: This land was made for you and me

As I went walking down that ribbon of a DEMON'S ROAD
I saw above me, oh, that endless DRAGON HORDE
Now I saw below me UNCONQUERED TERRAIN
And I said: This land was made for THE VALYRIAN EXPANSION

As I was walking, now, they tried to stop me ("good luck")
They put up a sign that said, oh, it said: FUCK YOUR DRAGONS
Well, on the back side, it said: LOVE, THE RHOYNAR
So, it must be that side was made for you and me

("behold, the Valyrian Freehold")

("it's like the party that never stops")

("we pass the slavings on to you... hehehe")

One bright sunny morning, well, in the shadow of a VOLCANO
Down by the MODERN ART DECO QUADRANT, I saw my people
You know, now, they stood DROWNING IN LAVA, I stood wondering ("uh-oh")
I was wondering if this land was— [MUSIC OVERWHELMED BY THE SOUND OF EXPLOSIONS AND RUBBLE]

I don't want a lot from you Qarth
There are certain things I need
I don't care about the presents
That you keep on giving me

I just want my own boats
Really anything that floats
A prophecy or twooooooo
All I want from you Qarth
Is...
You........

I don't need a husband Xaro
Drogo was enough for me
That crown sure does look nice but
My dragons do not come for free

I don't need to plead my case
Aren't my dragons proof enough?
Xaro, you don't even like girls,
And I see right through your bluff

Khaleesi, Stormborn, bride of fire
My names are as yet a few
Mother of dragons toooooo
Give me boats and I'll leave
It's true....
True Baby

Oh I don't want to do much with them
Just invade a foreign land
Reclaim my father's birthright
Murder those who make a stand

If the spicers will not help me
Nor the guild nor the Thirteen
I will just seek out the Warlocks
I'm sure they can make me Queen

'Cause I want to go back home
To a land I've never known
Jorah wants it, toooooooo
Qarth I'll get out of your hair
Soooooon

Oh all the lights are shining
In the magic air
And the sound of whispered
Prophecies are there

And doors are opening
I hear those Undead singing
Mother of Dragons, child of three
Won't you stay and give your body to me?

Oh I don't want to stay here now Qarth
Don't worry, soon I'll be gone
Sorry 'bout your magic house
That was all Drogon

Oh all I really need is boats
Really anything that floats
A body guard or two...
On my way to Westeros
real soon

Well its invasion time pretty baby ,
the golden company’s on the ground
its invasion time pretty baby ,
the golden company’s on the ground
with a hard on for the targaryens
connington is back in town

some times he has red hair , some times it’s blue ,
look out little tommen , jon con’s coming after you

Well its invasion time pretty baby ,
the golden company’s on the ground
its invasion time pretty baby ,
the golden company’s on the ground
with a hard on for the silver-haired dragons
connington is back in town

he loved his rheagar , his silver knight
look out young aegon he might creak your door tonight
rpt chorus

‘TWAS NEW YEARS DAY BABE , IN KINGS LANDING
AN OLD FOOL SAID TO ME , THEY’VE KILLED ANOTHER KING
AND THEN HE SANG A SONG , “THE PURPLE WEDDING DAY”
JOFF’S FACE HAD TURNED TO GREY , THEN PURPLE AND BLUE
NOW WE’RE THE LUCKY ONES , JOFFREY WAS SUCH A c***
I’VE GOT A FEELING , YOUNG TOM WILL SEE US THRU’
SO HAPPY NEW YEARS , THIS PURPLE WEDDING DAY
I CAN SEE A BETTER TIME NOW JOFFREY’S REIGN IS THRU

THEY HAD QUAIL ,THEY HAD ALE ,THEY HAD RIVERS OF WINE
AND DWARVES THAT WERE JOUSTING ON DOGS AND ON SWINE
WHEN MARGE TOOK JOFF’S HAND ON A COLD NEW YEARS DAY
THE LORDS AND THE LADIES ALL CAME OUT TO PLAY
HE’S HANDSOME SHE’S PRETTY , WITH A NICE PAIR OF TITTIES
THEY WAVED TO US SMALLFOLK FROM BAELOR’S ON HIGH
THE BEAR HE WAS SWINGING AND THE BARDS THEY WERE SINGING
THEY TOASTED THE QUEEN AND THEN CALLED FOR THE PIE
THE BOYS IN THE OLDTOWN SEPTONS CHOIR WERE SINGING “SLAVERS BAY”
AND THE BELLS WERE RINGING OUT ON NEW YEARS DAY

HE’S A BUM , HE’S A TWAT , HE CUT OPEN A CAT
HE FLED FROM OLD STANNIS AND RAN FROM THE FIGHT
HE’S A SCUMBAG A MAGGOT , AND HER BROTHER’S A FAGGOT
HIS MOTHER’S A WHORE FUCKS HER BROTHER MOST NIGHTS
THE BOYS IN THE OLDTOWN SEPTONS CHOIR WERE SINGING “SLAVERS BAY”
AND THE BELLS WERE RINGING OUT ON THEIR WEDDING DAY
AND THEN HE ATE THE PIE , WHO KNEW THAT HE WOULD DIE ?
HIS FACE TURNED PURPLE AS HE GASPED HIS LAST
AND CERSEI CRADLED HIM
AND SHE ACCUSED THE IMP
CRIED AS HER BOY WENT LIMP
SHE’D BUILT HER DREAMS AROUND HIM
THE BOYS IN THE OLDTOWN SEPTONS CHOIR WERE SINGING “SLAVERS BAY”
AND THE BELLS WERE RINGING OUT WHEN HE PASSED AWAY

THE COAL BURNS WHITE ON THE PYRE TONIGHT ,
NOT A KHALASAR TO BE SEEN,
IN THIS RED WASTE DESOLATION,
AM I KHALEESI ? AM I QUEEN?
THE FIRE IS RAGING LIKE THIS SWIRLING STORM INSIDE,
COULDN’T NOT GO IN, EVEN IF I FRIED
I MUST WALK IN AND LET THEM SEE ,
BE THE DRAGON I WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO BE,
DON’T TURN , DON’T BURN , WITH MY DROGO,
AND NOW THEY KNOW
LET IT GO , LET IT GO , CAN’T HOLD IT BACK ANYMORE
LET IT GO, LET IT GO , NO MORE DREAMS OF THAT RED DOOR
LET THE DRAGON WAKE , AS THIS NIGHT MEETS DAY,
LET THE FIRE RAGE ON ,
THE HEAT NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY
IT’S FUNNY HOW SOME KINGSBLOOD , MAKES EVERYTHING SEEM SMALL,
AND THE FEARS THAT ONCE CONTROLLED ME , CAN’T GET TO ME AT ALL
IT’S TIME TO SEE WHAT I CAN DO , TO TEST THE LIMITS AND BREAK THRU’
NO RIGHT NO WRONG NO RULES FOR ME, I AM FREE
LET IT GO , LET IT GO, I WILL RIDE ON THE WIND AND FLY,
LET IT GO , LET IT GO , YOU’LL NEVER SEE ME FRY
HERE I’LL STAND ‘TIL THE LIGHT OF DAY,
LET THE FIRE RAGE ON



THE FIRE IS BURNING FROM MY HAIR DOWN TO THE GROUND,
THE FLAMES ARE SPIRALLING LIKE BLAZING BRAIDING ALL AROUND,
AND ONE THOUGHT BURNS RIGHT THRU ME LIKE A FIERY BLAST,
I’M NEVER LOOKING BACK , THE PAST IS IN THE PAST,
LET IT GO , LET IT GO, AND I’LL RISE AT THE BREAK OF DAWN,
LET IT GO , LET IT GO , THAT TIMID GIRL IS GONE,
HERE I STAND IN THE LIGHT OF DAY,
HEAR THE DRAGONSONG
THE HEAT NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY