We wish George would finish writing
Our passions he's been igniting
The fans can be a little frightening
We're just slightly obsessed.

Did Ramsay get his yet,
Will Jon Snow pull through?
I hope Dany and Drogon
Burn Victarion's Crew

We wish George would finish writing
Dragons ended before the fighting
Spoiler chapters are so delighting
Cuz these cliffhangers Suck

For now we can do group re-reads
Amin makes his crazy theories
But We will die if he's out-paced
By the HBO series.

WE WISH GEORGE WOULD FINISH WRITING
Fingernails we have been biting
A release Date would be exciting
I Guess you just can't rush art.

You know Robb and Sansa, the crazy ones Rickon...
Arya's the Tom-boy and Bran is bed ridden...
But do you all know the true parentage of Jon Snow?

Robert the red-nosed usurper (usurper)
Lusted after Eddard's sis
This was years before he'd
End up passing out between Cersei's tits
Then came a prince name Rhaegar (Rhaegar)
Who wanted sweet Lyanna too
Lyanna and Rhaegar vanished and
Off the handle Robert flew

Then one night in the Dornish marches
Lord Eddard saved the day
Found his sister bloody at the Tower of Joy
Went back north with a baby boy

And how Catelyn didn't love him (love him)
Jon Snow the bastard baby
She couldn't stand this sullen punk
Was in their family weirwood tree

Then one night in Winterfell
Uncle Benjen came to say,
"Jon Snow you know this isn't your place
Come to The Wall, save the human race"

Oh how the Night's Watch loved him (loved him)
Except when they -SPOILER REMOVED-
How will Westeros learn the truth?
I guess ya gotta wait for Howland Reed
You gotta wait for Howland Reed

All that time and all that travel,
fighting foes with sellsword rabble.
To kneel beneath a Silver Queen:
spurned before all Meereen.
Quentyn Martell - Prince of Dorne,
scalded by that dragonspawn.
Rescued by his royal guard,
who offered Tatters to be charred:
"Hark! The herald Harpies kill,
this god damn city's begun to grill!"

"Flee my stalwart prince of Dorne.
Leave these roses to their thorns."
And so he sailed down Ska(ha)zadan,
board a vessel, eastward bound.
"Screw the throne and screw the dragons.
I'll spend my days in Qartheen taverns."
And so he lives to this day,
drinking ale and shoveling hay.
A wife, three kids and a dog:
a happy ending for our Frog!

Prince Quentyn of Dorne looked out
On the court of Dany
Sent out by the Prince with gout
To fufill the pact by Darry
Dorne's armies were just not right
And the Queen was cruel
Poor Quentyn tried all his might
But became dragon fuel

"Oh Dany, won't you marry me,
I'll give you back your throne
This guy you're marrying, who is he?
Or that one that you bone?"
"Good sir, you are plain of face,
And Meereen's where I'm staying
I have to learn to rule this place
Before I take King's Landing

So Poor Prince Quentyn changed his plan
For the good of Dorne
Steal a dragon, be a man!
And gain the love of Doran
Frog and friends went forth they did
Made a plan with Tatters
Sneak into the pyramid
Wearing funny haaaaatttteerrrrs

Suddenly it all went wrong
Trying to free the dragons
Dark now turns this festive song
They didn't need the wagons!
Trying to tame Viserion
Turned his back on t'other
Oh no! Cried out all his friends
What a stupid blunder!

Poor Prince Quentyn is now dead
Dead dead dead dead dead dead
Burnt up to a crisp and dead
Definitely dead, dead
Oh they grieved, but yes he's dead
No chance of surviving
Four days dying, now he's dead
And can't be Dany's Kinnnngg

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the Keep
Not a traitor was stirring - I put them to sleep.
The Starks were all hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that their honor would die with them there.
My inbred children were snug in their beds,
While visions of lemoncakes danced in their heads.
And Jaime in armor, and I wearing none
Had just settled down for some incesty fun.

When up at the Wall there arose such a clatter
They sprang from their pallets to see what was the matter!
Up the old winch-lift they flew like a flash
(Except for fat Sam who fell hard on his ash.)
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to Others below
When what to their wondering eyes should appear
But thousands of wights climbing up without fear
They set up defences so lively and quick,
But the undead kept coming, a dozen wights thick.

So they called for backup, and soon they all came,
And they whistled, and shouted, and called them by name,
"Now Tully! Now Greyjoy! Now Arryn and Tyrell!
On Baratheon, Targaryen, Stark and Martell!
To the top of the world, to the top of the Wall!
Now fight away! Fight away! Fight away all!"
With wildlings and sellswords the steel it did fly
But when met with an Other, they'd crumble and die
The war for Westeros raged the night through
When the Great Other joined in the battle too!

And then came the dragons, coiling their flame
To cook all the Others and do it again,
The heroes all cheered but when they turned around
The dragons were waiting and standing their ground.
And then they too were fried, from their heads to their feet
All the great houses of Westeros, gone in a beat.

Except for the Lannisters, who played like a jerk,
They stayed out of the fight, put their money to work.
They bribed and they cheated, never donning a helm,
And woke Christmas morning to own the whole realm.
They waved to the dragons as they flew out of sight
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good Wight!

Meereenese
Meereenese
Meereenese Knot
Fire and blood draw hordes to this spot
Multiple plot lines, George weaves into one.
Took 5 years to be finally done

Meereenese
Meereenese
Meereenese Knot
Ruling is much harder than Dany thought
Pleasing foes inside and outside her walls
Poor girl lost her balls

Telling some lies,
Hitching a ride
Gets him to Slaver's Bay
But by the time Quentyn's arrived
Daario's bangin' Dany every way

Yunkish lords and sell swords
Hunger for war
But They're in for a shock
Krakens and Dragons crave gore even more
That's the Meereenese Knot

On the Shy Maid,
Then as a slave
Tyrion arrives in chains
That little smart-ass has those fools out classed
He'll be pulling the strings in a matter of days

Now we wait for book six
With baited breath
All's set for the onslaught
Then we can shift the plot back to the west.
That's the Meereenese
That's the Meereenese
That's the Meereenese Knot

O Stormy Night! The Dragonstone is falling,
behind the waves of a fierce Narrow Sea.
Still lies the Queen, her face in anguished mourning,
her house destroyed by the Stag's victory.
A princess born, amidst the salt and smoking,
her mother's blood, spilt out upon the decks.
Weep, oh ye Faithful! And hear the dragons choking!
O night demise, O night when she was born;
O night demise, O night when hope was lost.

Long did she flee, with her brother hiding,
from the knives of the Usurper King.
Until at last, she met her true love riding,
a silver mare through the Great Grassy Sea
Her sun-and-stars: the greatest of the Horselords,
felled not by steel, but the witch's curse.
Reclaimed by the Night Lands! Given to the flames!
O night reprised, O night when hope returned;
O night reprised, O night when they were born.

I'm dreaming of a Night Watchman
Known to his friends as "Lord Jon Snow"
With his long Stark features
And warging creature
Beyond The Wall he loves to go

I'm dreaming of a Night Watchman
He went down on Ygritte all night
And he has weird wolf dreams at night
And he saved Commander Mormont from a Wight

I'm dreaming of a Night Watchman
Goes by the bastard name of Snow
Well his outlooks never sunny
'Cause he never new his mummy
And he thinks she must have been a Ho

I'm dreaming of a Night Watchman
He'll stop The Others and the wights
With his wolf so silent and white
He will guard the realms of men through the long night

It came upon a pale mare
Just like Quaithe said it would
Bloody runs starting such a scare
Oh man, that isn't good

As if there wasn't enough stress
For Dany to deal with before
A bloody flux causing quite a mess
Comes out of Astapor

It's beginning to look a lot like winter
Everywhere you go
White ravens have been sent to all
Wormways being used on the wall
And even in Kings Landing they've got snow

It's beginning to look at lot like winter
Pycelles's chambers are so cold
But the chill-ingest sight to Kev:
Pycelle's body lying dead
And Varys' cross bow

A group of others killed Royce and then killed his boy,
Our first sign of oncoming dread
Mance and his folk grab their sheep and their goats,
Whole villages have fled
Beyond the wall The Others have armies of frozen dead

It's beginning to feel a lot like winter
A three day march turns into weeks
The southron have icicles in their piss
While clansmen swear it's just autumn's kiss
And snot is frozen to their nose and cheeks

It's beginning to look a lot like winter
Ramsay's new home is snowed in
But even worse than all the snow
He's surrounded by his foes
And the true Snow men.

A group of others killed Royce and he then killed his boy,
Our first sign of what lies ahead
Mance and his folk grab their sheep and their goats
Whole villages have fled
Beyond the wall The Others have armies of frozen dead

It's beginning to look a lot like winter
And If The Wall fell
I suggest you spread your knees
Then stick your head up in between
To kiss your ass farewell

Are you hanging char-grilled children from a wall
Are you proud you caused Winterfell to fall
Did you screw men at Moat Cailin
Kick a dead head for a lark
Do you want to be a Greyjoy or a Stark

So here's to you Theon Greyjoy
Everybody hates your guts
Ramsay Bolton's flaying knife will surely send you nuts

Did you make the captains daughter give you head
Did you get a thrill from shagging in Ned's bed
Did you tumble in the Godswood
And the miller's wife got laid
But those days are gone
Your cocks been cut and flayed

So here's to you Theon Greyjoy
Everybody hates your guts
Ramsay Bolton's flaying knife will surely send you nuts

What would your daddy do
If he saw you finger bang your sister
Does your daddy say to pay the iron price
But your losing bits and pieces slice by slice
Did you miss out on your birth right
At the King's Moot on Old Wyk
But what goods an heir who hasn't got a dick

So here's to you Theon Greyjoy
Everybody hates your guts
Ramsay Bolton's flaying knife will surely send you nuts

(Repeat chorus)

Silent knight , unholy knight ,
aerys tore his tongue out in spite,
'round Kings Landing he broods and he scowls,
one look from him it can loosen your bowels
he keeps the kings's justice and peace
by making all traitors deceased

Silent knight , unholy knight ,
no way, is is bark , worse than his bite,
he stole old Ice, from our favourite Stark , Ned
he first took his sword , and he then took his head,
we hope he dies ill and in pain
we're all scared of ser Illyn Payne